You don't understand...

how it feels to be me.

That's the only explanation I could think of. Because it sounds reasonably right. Because ... you are not me. You will not know what I'm thinking or what I'm feeling when ...

..there is responses from you.
..you, unknowingly, cut me with words.
..you, subconsciously, let go of my hand.
..you talked about other hot and better lasses.
..you pushed me away when I wanted you to hold me close.
..you hugged me when I expected least.
..you comforted me when I cried.
..you smiled at me when I smiled.
..you said you missed me.


I'm a way-too-fragile girl for you. :( What if all these become too overwhelming and I sealed myself away? So that I could free you? :(

Sav.age.ly

(adverb)

- untamed, fierce, ferocious, wild, uncultivated, malicious, uncivilized


:D

Afterall ...

we have come so far. It wouldn't do if we stop now, right?



Up till now, I have to confess, I think I'm a fortunate girl. It's funny how things change after meeting you. I used to think that I deserve someone better. Someone who wouldn't make me wait. Someone who would care enough to stay. Sigh. I went in too deep this time. I wouldn't give a damn about your imperfection even though I should. I wouldn't mind your lackings or weaknesses. I am broken, myself. What right do I have, to choose.

Wait when it hits you. Even you, will succumb to it.

After meeting you, I start to like myself. My name sounds nicer. I look better. I do better.

Life seems more meaningful and wonderful. I look forward for tomorrow to come, so that I can see you. Sigh. What is becoming of me?

Naiive? You were once too.

I wonder if you would like me too if you knew who I am. If you really saw me. I tried so hard to cover, to hide, to change, to smile, to make you smile ... what if one day, I grew tired and I stopped trying to be .. someone you like?

I am disgusting.

Steamed Moist Chocolate Cake

For the Cake

180gm Butter
200gm Caster Sugar
½ tin Evaporated Milk
2 Eggs, beaten
100gm Plain Flour
50gm Cocoa Powder
½tsp Baking Powder
½tsp Bicarbonate Soda/Baking Soda
½tsp Vanilla Extract/Essence

1.Put butter, caster sugar, evaporated milk and vanilla extract into a pot. In low heat, stir until sugar melts.

2.Turn off the heat and let it cool. Add in the beaten eggs.

3.Keep stirring it until it mix through.

4.Sift the plain flour, baking powder, bicarbonate soda, and cocoa powder into a clean bowl.

5.Pour in the cool evaporated milk into the dry mixture. Keep stirring it until everything is well combined.

6.Heat the steamer.

7.Lined and greased a 9 inch round baking pan. Cover the pan loosely with an aluminum foil.

8.Place the baking pan into the steamer. Cover the steamer and steam in medium low heat for 45 mins or until it’s fully cooked. If you want to know it’s fully cooked, insert a toothpick in the middle of the cake. If it comes out clean then it’s fully cooked.

9.Remove it from the steamer. And let it completely cool before removing it from the baking pan.

For the Chocolate Topping

½tin Condensed Milk
2tbsp Canola Oil
20gm Cocoa Powder

1.Mix everything into a pot. Turn on the heat to low. Keep stirring it until it’s thicken. Turn off the heat and let it cool down before spreading it on the cool cake.

*****

How would you describe a good chocolate cake? :)

Melt-in-the-mouth? Sinful but yet not enough? Out-of-the-world?

A year ago

...I met you.


:)

One thing

.. just this one thing.

I dislike, no, I hate people who judge superficially.

Dear Daddy and Mummy,

I really wish you could see me now. I wish that you see me bing taken care of. So that you can trust me. Trust me that I can be on my own. Because I have somone who see me as who I am and someone who care enough to listen. Someone who is there for me.

It might or might not be a temporary wonderful dream. But all I know now is, I am happy. Although I am unclear where the road ahead lies, what I can tell you is, I am not going to regret. I am not. Because, no matter how beautiful or ugly the ending is going to be, I believe that it is worth it.

I wouldn't argue with you if you think that I am naive or ignorant. I wouldn't. Because I know you know it best. But Daddy and Mummy, I want you to understand and I want you to trust me. That I am growing up and therefore, I will take full responsibility of my actions.

See how I transform into a butterfly, Daddy. See how I fly. See how I smile and cry with pride.

I love you. I love you, Daddy and Mummy. Just wait a little longer. I will be fine. The finest as I ever can be.